So, I'm crazy.

I finally broke down and went to the doctor's. I listed my ailments. He ordered some tests. Prescribed Zoloft. Referred me to get some psych therapy. Of course, the whole time I was having an utter mental melt down. I have a phobia of all things medical. I have had the Zoloft for a few days but have yet to take it. The list of possible side effects is more than daunting. I went to the local mental health clinic for an intake appointment. I'm poor. So, the facility is paid for by the county I live in. Almost everyone in there looked like they were only firing on one cylinder. I seemed to be the only coherent person there. Once I was seen by an intake clinician, I was a billion questions. He, of course, assumed based on my appearance that I was some illiterate, drug and alcohol swilling broad. Guess one can't have tattoos, green hair, piercings and stretched ears while maintaining an above average level of intelligence. Good to know. Anyways, he diagnosed me with panic disorder, agoraphobia and depression. Yikes. I have a long road ahead of me. I'm scared and most of the time I feel like I'm barely functioning. Everything overwhelms me. But, at least I took the first steps to getting help and getting better. I can't wait until the day I can go grocery shopping, enter a mall or walk into a movie theater without imploding.