Pic update :)

Ok so here is the little owl I just finished on the TTT5. I'm very pleased with how it came out. I used some googly button eyes I had laying about. I think the effect is great!


And here are some lovely pics from Az's first "Lunch on the Lawn". It was great to be able to see Az in action at Kindergarten. I think he was more interested in playing than hanging out with his Ma lol



And lastly here is a picture of my 30 week belly!!!! ooooohhhh polka dots! <3

Top o' the mornin'....

I was hoping to sleep in this morning.... but, it seems Azalea has lost her penchant for sleeping in when her big bro is away. sigh -_- I was up late last night toiling away on my homework, putting some finishing touches on my research and final papers. Now, I'm up eating coconut yogurt. YUM! :)

I'm almost done with my 3rd towel for the TTT5 swap. This is my favorite one so far!^_^ Will post pix later. I need to start working on my book club swap. I know what I'm crafting. I just need to get my arse in gear. NEED a cool looking old tea cup!

This week is a BIG week at Azriel's school. Back to school night, first PTO meeting, and picture day!!! :) Exciting, indeed.

S0, I'm about 30 weeks. A little over 2 months to go. I really excited!

I'm off to feed the doodle monster

Ta-ta

Howard Hughes?

Well, I'm in the middle of HW (no big surprise there) and I got a message from a fellow TTT5 swapper and I must say that I'm touched. I don't really expect that anyone reads my blog. But, the fact that someone did AND sent me a sweet message is mind blowing. Thank you <3

On another note: Did one of my papers for my Child Development class. Go me! I'm still managing to keep the kids fed and clothed, the grades up, and the house is livable. ::High Five::

Az is doing well in Kindergarten. He's adjusting to the long day(me, too). I love seeing him sit in his classroom looking studious and adorable! <3

Azalea is walking machine!! She walks everywhere now. my little chubs is growing so fast! Oh and she started saying "cheese" today!! lol Probably because she constantly sees me stuffing myself with it. It's a sickness, an addiction. CHEESE. I <3 cheese!! So, she's saying "daddy" "doggy"(which pretty much sound the same lol), "thank you", "uh-oh", and now "CHEESE"!

My alien parasite aka fetus... is kicking up a storm. Much more active than the other two were. I'm almost in my third trimester. I feel like a bloated, waddling, baby making machine. Which, is precisely what I am. The other day, Azriel asked me if I was a machine. lol D must have told him I was baby making machine. Wonder what his teacher will say to that when he undoubtedly repeats it.

I just received my 2nd towel for TTT5 swap. The theme is John Hughes (I keep thinking Howard Hughes lol I even googled Howard Hughes on accident.) I seriously haven't a clue what to do!!! I love all his movies but I can't think of anything to embroider. >_<

okokok Must get back to HW. ARGH!!!

Cheated

I should be doing research for my paper, doing homework, picking up, playing with the kids, reading, or something besides crying. But, nonetheless, here I am. Crying. Feeling rather shitty.

This pregnancy I'll be having a c-section just as I did with the other 2. The first one was not planned. For the 2nd I could have opted for a VBAC. But, I didn't. I was scared of a real live birth after the ordeal I went through with the first. But, with this pregnancy I have no choice. I will HAVE TO have surgery. I am not so much as worried about the c-section this time as much as I am saddened that I will never be able to give birth. I have never birthed my children. They were TAKEN out of me while I lay there. My body will never do what it was meant to do. I am having my tubes tied with this pregnancy because it wouldn't be safe for me to have anymore children/c-sections. My chance for a real natural birth is gone. My chance for more kids will be gone. I don't know why this is so upsetting. But, it is. I feel cheated. I cheated myself. It's almost as if I lost out on some integral part of being a woman, of being a mother. I almost feel less of a mother and a woman. I keep thinking, I didn't birth my children. I never will be able to. I am incredibly upset. I wasn't upset last time. D's sister just had her baby a few days ago, naturally. This is her 2nd child. She gave birth in about 5 minutes. I'm sure she is up and about. And, I'm happy that she had a healthy baby girl. But, that happiness is tinged with jealousy. I hate it. I hate that I am jealous of her birth experience. God, I am soooooo fucking upset about this. It's ridiculous and useless to sit here crying. I can't change anything. I have to have another c-section. There isn't any other choice. SO, why am I so upset? Why do I feel like I'm missing out on some integral part of being mother? Why do I feel at so much of a loss?

Implode-y-ness

So, I'm completely and utterly stressing over my two papers due in my Child development course. I haven't written a paper in god knows how long!!!!! Now I have to write one 5 page observation report and an 8 page research paper. >_< I don't even know where to begin. I'm so scattered. I have to do this. Oh wait, no, I have to do this first. No, no, this needs attending to also.... argh. Sp far I'm doing well in all my classes but how long will that last? I'm already feeling the strain. School compounded with Az starting school, Azalea's development, the ever present money issues, D being home every once in a blue moon, the pregnancy, and the swaps is making for a stressed out me. The papers are causing the most anxiety. They are time consuming. Where do I begin? How do I not sound like a ignorant fool? What the hell am I going to say for 8 pages? When will I find the time to research, brain storm, make rough copies, proof read, and finally write these papers? Where does the rest of my life fit in? I need help. I'm in over my head. I haven't admitted it to anyone. But, I think I did bite off a bit more than I can chew. Somehow, I'll figure it out. I have to. Is it bed time yet?

It's cool to stay in school

Ya. Totally. So like you can be like totally uber smart and stuff and like use big words like superfluous and cacophonous in like sentences and like yea be all smarty and stuff.....

K... don't know where that came from. I think all the chocolate I ate today is catching up to me. Ugh... so tired. But, I have to finish another chapter for my Child Development class and embroider my towel for the Tea Towel Tour 5 swap.

Azalea passed out after I read her, her most favorite board book "Peek-a-boo" :)

Azriel is spending the night with his pops.

D is in Pasadena working.

I am here frittering away time on the computer.

I was perusing the tea towel gallery and "WOWZERS!!!!" my measly lettering is being put to shame!!!! >_< ::Sigh:: If I wasn't nervous before (which I totally was), I sure as hell am now.

Picture post!! Oh, joy!

Soooo, today me and the fam went to Walmart today. It's seriously one of the only things to do in town. lol We bought some stuff. A new silky, black, lacey top for me... a new pair of little pink shoes for Azalea, work pants for Danny, an area rug, new toy for Azalea, and last but certainly not least... some atomic neon green boots for Azriel! They're girl boots... but no one is telling him that. He REALLY wanted them. You can't really tell that they're girl boots. They resemble Dr. Martens. Here are some pix of my shopping spree. lol

Awesome boots!!!

Area rug

Azalea's new toy

Stuff and more stuff

Azriel went with his dad today for his biweekly over night stay. D is at work until Tuesday morning. So, that leaves just me and Azalea for a day and night. Azalea is learning to walking. Toddling here to there. It's so adorable!! Today we went for a walk. Azriel and I each held one of Azalea's hands and we helped toddle up and down. She loved it. We all did. Then she helped me push her own stroller. Too dang cute!!! They grow up soooo fast.

I start school on Monday( So does D). Really excited about that. I can't wait. The anticipation will kill me.

This coming week should prove to be busy, but pleasantly so. Monday: Start classes, snack shopping for Vegas, prepare snacks, in the P.M. mom is coming over. Tuesday: Vegas!!! for D's birthday :) Wednesday: Come home, Azalea has her one yr. check up, grocery shopping..... ok well the first few days will be busy. But, I'm sure I'll find a way to keep busy. Between, kids, school, husband, and crafting. lol

I joined 2 swaps!!! I can't believe I did it. But, I did. One is a traveling tea towel swap!!! I've really fallen for embroidery :) And the other is a combo book club/ craft swap. I signed up for the fantasy group. Can't wait to start either.

The bun in the over seems to be coming along nicely :) All tests are fine, the ultrasound good.

My back is killing me!!!! I stupidly did laundry yesterday by myself. Schlepping around 2 kiddies ton of laundry while pregnant is not a good idea. Never again. D usually does it. But, he wouldn't be home in time to do it before Vegas. So, yea... I'm uncomfortable. Today, I take it easy. As easy as Azalea will let me.

Pop tarts, swaps, and birthdays... Oh my!!!

So, at the moment I'm waiting on some pie dough to chill out so that I can start working on some DEEEEELICIOUS "pop tarts". I'm making a couple different filling variations. (1)marmalade and dark chocolate.--For the hubby-- Orange and chocolate. A damn perfect match made in heaven (2) Plain ol' raspberry preserves.--For me-- (3) Strawberry jam --For the kiddies-- I'm using a plain full butter double crust pie dough recipe. I love using full butter pie crusts. There is just a flavor that shortening can not give. I may be missing out on a little tenderness. But, I wont mind too terribly much with all the yummy golden flakiness!!!

I have completed my first Craftster swap! It was sooooo much fun!!! My bookmarks were graciously received. I am awaiting mine :) I want to participate in more. However, I will be starting classes in a few weeks. And, I wonder if it would be prudent to add swaps to the juggle? Perhaps small swaps? We shall see. But, I was thrilled that my first swap was a great success!! Yipee!!! :))))))

August is jam packed with birthdays. Although, this month may be lacking in official holidays... in birthday celebration it is not. In my family alone there are at least 7 birthdays!!!! My hubby, baby girl and best friend cousin included. My lovely daughter will be turning 1 this coming week. We're doing something very, very small. I'm making a cake and were having my mom and brother over for some grilling. Hub's is on the 18th. We're going to Vegas for a night! Fun. fun :) I have been doing some serious embroidering for his gifts. Post pics later. But, have been at a stand still on what I should make my lil' peanut. Hmmm... there is still time!

And and smack dab in the middle of all that birthday madness is school. I'm excited and anxious. I can't wait for classes to begin. But, am also wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into. lol At least classes will be over before I'm due.

Speaking of which... baby #3 is moving and grooving very, very much now. Seems each day the movements become stronger and more pronounced. It doesn't cease to amaze me :)

Must go check on that dough!

Overflowing and then some...

Last night me and D made a fabulous dinner inspired by the Food network chef, Tyler Florence. He is fantastic!!! He is an amazing cook with a passion for simple, scrumptious food. His book "Tyler's Ultimate" definitely showcases that. We picked a main and a dessert from that lovely book. I was first swayed by the crab cakes. MMMMMMM crrrraaaab. But, I guess we're too far in boonies here to carry lump crab. oh, pooh! So.... we chose to go with a scallop dish. Never cooked with them before. We wrapped those suckers in prosciutto, sliced some apples and pan fried the lot in sage infised butter. Completely and utterly drool worthy!!! THEN... my dear friends, for the feast does not end there.... I whipped up a batch of chocolate mousse!!!! O M G.... soooo rich... sooo decadent... soooo light.... soooo creamy!!! You get the point, yes? :) I whipped up some cream with a bit of sugar and a tad of pure vanilla extract, chopped some semi sweet chocolate for the top and.... Voila! Pure love and magic contained in a glass. It was actually a bit too rich to finish all at once. My 5 yr old's eyes were bigger than his tummy. He only got about 1/3 of the way through it. I about 3/4 way through. My hubby scarfed his, though. We did however come back to finish them off later that night while watching (FINALLY!!!) Coraline. Somehow even though I've eaten an incredibly rich meal, I end up hungry a few hours later. This baby making business is bonky. lol On to the pictures!!!!

The scallops :) D finished off the apples before I could photograph them lol



The mousse to end all mousses

Swappin'

I finally entered a swap on CRAFTSTER. OMG. This is huge!!! This is monumental, I tell you! lol I've been putting it off and instead stalking the swapping pages ( I can be pretty creepy lol). I made excuse after excuse... Oh, I don't have time between, school, mommyhood, wifeliness, cooking, baking, and my current craft projects... My creativity with vanish... I'm too cruddy... I'm too tired... blah blah blah. But, this particular swap was recommended to me from a fellow lurker and never swapper. We're both doing the swap. It's a small, quick, and seemingly easy swap. Bookmarks. I mean, how hard, right? Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?! Oh god... what have I gotten myself into!!! lol It's too late now. I'm committed. Wish me luck!! :)

Let's restart this biatch.

So, I have decided to delete quite a few past postings. I read over them and didn't like what I saw. Perhaps it was pregnancy hormones at the time. But, yea. No more. I'm going to dedicate this blog to me, my family, and my love of cooking, baking, and crafting in general :)

Are you there God? It's me, ZQ.

Sooooo... it has been quite a while since I have posted. Yes, indeedy. Okie dokie.. here's an update. I'm now a married woman. I'm pregnant again. I live in Barstow. I'm starting school full time in the fall. Unfortunately, I'm still as neurotic as ever. Blah. D is still working in Pasadena. That is the major sucks. I see him a couple days out of the week. Uber crapness. Times are rough. Az1 is starting kindergarten in Sept.!!!! YAY!!!! So exciting! Az2 is a big ol'cry baby chunk butt. Remind me not to name this baby with a name that starts with "Az"... K? Thanx much.

I want to craft more. Like a ton more. I want to have more peace and patience about me. I have about nil :( I go to bed every night thinking about how shitty I was today as a mom, wife, friend... etc(especially as a parent). Needless to say, those thoughts don't make for a relaxing sleep. It's hard to sleep. It's really hard to sleep with knots in yur tummy. I want to be one of those perfectly made up, smiling, patient, doting mommies. I'm the complete opposite. I want to be better. I want to be someone else. I want to find peace. >_< But, how? How do I make time for everything and everyone? I'm basically a pregnant single mom. Give me a sign, whoever you are.